


Trinity Lotus

by SamuraiKanda



Series: Trinity Lotus Series [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Almavi, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Jealousy, Longing, Lotus, M/M, Modeling, Shared past, Vows, Yulma, Yulmavi, possessive Kanda, transgender Alma, yuuvi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-02-22 21:37:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13175691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamuraiKanda/pseuds/SamuraiKanda
Summary: one place, one shared memory - Yuu, Lavi and Alma know each other since they are children. But one day their paths are scattered and ten years later Yuu bumps into Lavi and Alma, who he thought he lost just as he has lost his parents. While working together with them for a renown label in Tokyo there is a lot of catching up to do. Especially, when it comes to terms of deeper emotions for a certain person





	1. Kanda: 1

What a pain. I dislike walking in the rain. Just why does it have to be rainy right on the day I return back to the country my ancestors originate? A deep sigh escapes my lips as my fingers shortly brush over the glass I started to wear as some kind of good-luck-charm a long time ago. Even though I don‘t understand myself at all as to why I haven‘t thrown away this one particular thing of my childhood, I still cling on to it. The content of the glass is everything connecting me with at least some nice memories when I was still living with my parents. The seed and the petal of a lotus flower concealed together with a promise I made almost ten years ago. Then everything had changed.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
_„Let‘s stay friends forever“ is a boy with irritating bright red hair in the same age as I am saying right now and a bright smile is plastered on his face while his one visible eye glistens in the same way._  
  
_„What do have planned?“_  
_„This here“_  
  
_is he explaining right now as he hovers carefully a lotus flower out of the bag and the girl next to me stares in the same intensity I do at that beautiful flower. Actually, I never seen one up so close. As the girl pulls up three small vials as well some leather bands I start to understand quickly where this is going. This will be our vow to always stay together and to never forget each other._  
  
_„Here is my share“ is all I say right now laying the seeds on the tree stump right in front of us I had taken from our neighbor‘s store for floristic and stare directly at both of them. A nod follows, then our little ritual is started_  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
„Hope you have a pleasant stay“ is the flight attendend saying before I‘m finally able to leave the plane and shoulder my bag. There is only one reason I return volunteerly to Tokyo. Because there is a offer for me to work for a renown label as model. True, the most would think someone with a cold attitude and rash temper like me isn‘t suited for this kind of business. But the contracts I had while staying in Europe with a man named Tiedoll after everything went haywire show clearly how asked my persona is.  
  
Taking the train into the city comes for sure cheaper than taking a taxi. I was struggling for sure with the amount of luggage I have with me but I manage to make it to Roppongi, where thanks to Tiedoll I can stay in my own fucking apartment. I personally would have killed the old man if he had organize me one near Shibuya or Shinjuku, because the young people there would most likely recognize me. Slightly cursing I head through the pouring rain over to the right address and another foul curse escapes my lips as I notice there isn‘t any fucking elevator at all.  
  
After nearly fifteen minutes or so it seems I managed to bring all of my bags up into the third floor, where my apartment is located at the end of the corridor. So once I open the door, I slip out of my boots, enter the apartment and a short smile appears on my lips. Maybe this time the old man truly deserves a ,thanks‘ coming from me. I do love how the entire facility harmonizes with the color of the rooms. Besides, in a way it is strange for me to feel this soft comfort outgoing from the tatami mats while I remember never stepped onto them before at all. For me it is for sure strange, since I as a Japanese should be used to tatami mats. But I‘m not. Not even the Dojo I used to work out on a regular base didn‘t have tatami mats. Only the floor within the bath and the kitchen area are tiled.  
  
I rummage through my bag to pull out a tank top and a sweatpant as well a towel, then I head into the bath to warm myself up with a shower. I truly dislike walking through rain. It always remembers me on that one day I was running so fast, I almost collapsed due to the fact I was out of air to breathe.  
  
_„H-help me, please, you need to help...“_  
_„What happened, boy?“_  
_„Mama, she....“_  
  
A short hiss escapes my lips by the upcoming fragment of my childhood while one hand is clenched into a fit. On a rainy day like this I‘ve lost everything I knew. My parents, my friends, everything that was dear to me. I lost so much and yet I still can‘t let go of this little reminder connecting me with what is in a way still dear to me


	2. Alma: 1

With a sigh my forehead touches cool glass while I close my eyes. Another refusal just arrived with the mail and slowly but surely I don‘t know what to do anymore. Thankfully the couple, who had adopted me is truly a great help to me. Even though they know how much I struggle to become a man, the fucked up society of surgeons and other kind of hospital personnel constantly says ,NO‘. „Alma, dear?“ is the voice of my mother seeping in from the door while she barely knocks. I simply allow her to enter and right there I allow myself to break out into tears. I just can‘t stand to be any longer within this body that is so forgein to me. I always felt being a boy. Even back than in the orphanage in Tokyo were I grew up side by side with the most charming red-head I know. Even, when we had crossed paths with Yuu and spent a lot of time together.  
  
In a soothing way she pats now my back. Without them and without Lavis content help I might have thought of killing myself a lot earlier. I had never even thought to see either Yuu nor him ever again. But I have to agree it was the best surprise ever. It was on a day, where we had travel into another state to try if there is any surgeon willed to fulfill me my wish, when I noticed a shock of red hair in the hallway. I was so filled with joy and relief, I was clinging on to him so long that Lavi had to simply remind me to let go of him or other way I‘d be suffocating him. From that day on we stayed in contact. He even convinced the old man who he is living with to move into the same town I live, so he‘d be a help to me.  
  
„Alma, there is another letter for you from Japan“ is now the voice of my father sounding from downstairs and with a short sob I head down next to my mother to glance at this one partiular letter. With shaking hands I rip open the envelope and read through it while more tears run down my cheeks.  
  
„What does it say, dear?“  
„There is this Lable, Blue Water and they want me to work for them“  
  
are now the words coming out of me shakily and I just realize this might be my chance to close in on my dream. I hand the letter to my parents, but both of them aren‘t fluent in japanese at all. Luckily due to the fact I started to spend so much time again with Lavi, both of us feel like constantly brush up our japanese. Ok, my father has at least tried to learn a few vocables and he mostly uses them, when I‘m close to lose my temper in order to cool me down.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
Right now I admit, I‘m sulking while I sit at the old tree near the store department and wait for hours. „You‘re late, Lavi Bookman“ is my only reply as a trusted shock of red appears now right in front of me, rubbing sheepishly at his neck. „Sorry, Alma, but Gramps had me piled up with a lot of work before was heading out to Frisco“ is he saying as he flops himself into the grass right next to me while I stare with a pout into the sky. My uncle had said I‘m acting too much like a spoiled little diva and maybe he‘s right. But I can‘t forgive easily for being left waiting quite long. I am honestly not so patient as a certrain dark-haired boy is.  
  
„So, the old Panda is more urgent then me?“  
„No, that‘s not true. You are always my number one, Alma“  
  
is he saying right now while pulling me now into a slight embrace and I sigh shortly.  
  
„Always?“  
„Always“  
  
is he reassuring to me while gazing at me with his emerald green eye, slightly bumping my nose and I poke him slightly into the side. Then, I hand him the two letters I received this morning so he‘d be up to date with my current situation. A serious expression rests as always on his face when he reads and I have to admit it is for me cute. „I won‘t let you go there on your own“ is he saying now and a gentle smile appears on my lips. I‘m so glad to have him around me, even though once in a while I wonder how Yuu is doing. It is now ten years ago since the three of us have seen each other. Before I realize Lavi seems to know what I was thinking and while I hold on to this little piece of memory we had forged together with Yuu, I somehow hope to see him again.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
Almost two weeks later I find myself boarding a plane taking me to Tokyo-Narita. The old Panda, as Lavi refers to the old man who had adopted him, isn‘t quite pleased about the fact of the red-head travelling with me to Japan, but he only agreed in the end since we both go there to study. Besides, my own parents only allowed me to fly to Tokyo if they know Lavi would be with me. Both of them have accepted him as the friend he is to me and therefore I do cherish them for seeing him as a vital part within my life. Taking a deep breath a smile is resting on my lips as Lavis hand lays now on my arm.  
  
„Do you think, we are going to see...?“  
„Who knows? Maybe he has already forgotten the two of us“  
„But, Lavi. Yuu made this vow just as you and I did back then“  
„Even so, what keeps him from holding on to something trivial as simple childhood memories?“  
  
is the question now coming from the red-head and as I pout, a part within me dislikes the fact Lavi could be right. I bit now my lips and stubbornly as I am now I won‘t accept at all that Yuu has forgotten all about me. Ok, years have for sure passed. But we are still friends. At least this is what I say to myself constantly before falling asleep and gazing to the Lotus in the glass I wear around my neck.  
  
The flight is truly exhausting. Once we arrive in Tokyo-Narita I can‘t fight back a yawn at all and I have to cling on to Lavi so that I won‘t trip over my own feet nor get lost here while we head to the baggage claim. Without Lavi I might have managed to get lost on the airport. So therefore I‘m more than relieved to know he‘s with me. As we head now through the hallway after getting our entire luggage I‘m in a thoughtful mood. So what should I do if by any given chance I bump into Yuu again. Will he be able to recognize me again? The last time I‘ve seen him I had been a child of close to eleven years old. A short sigh escapes my lips as Lavi organizes us a taxi bringing us inside the city and I lean with my head against the cool glass of the car window.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
_„Alma? This are from today on your parents“ is the headmistress of the orphanage telling me right in the morning as I was summoned after breakfast into her office. Usually, I would head out with Lavi, but I haven‘t seen him during breakfast at all. Right now I‘m torn apart about this kind of news. At one side I am more than happy to finally have a home just like Yuu has one. But at the other side I don‘t want to be ripped apart from Yuu and Lavi. They are my friends and I promised to always be their friend and to never forget them. Just as I‘m going to say a word, my eyes widen for a moment as I run over to the window pane and notice an old man leaving the compound with Lavi at his side. “So Lavi got adopted too?“ is all I ask right now, trying to hold back my tears and as the headmistress only nods it is actually terrifying for me to live from now on with mere strangers without having a chance to rely on Yuu or Lavi._  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
„This one looks cheap enough“ is Lavi now saying as we reach a capsule hotel near the train station to Shibuya and I only nod in response. Right now all I want is a bed to sleep in. I‘m even too tired to complain about the current weather condition. With the amount of money the two of us share at the moment we can stay for two nights, then we have to look for another place to stay. The thing is, my entire savings are on a separate account administered by my father and I can only access it if I can prove them I‘m able to survive on my own by handling everything regarding finances. That‘s why I travelled here with the amount I gathered together over the past few weeks.  
  
Waking up the next morning our breakfast is out of melon cream bread and and a can of barley tea. This is simply all we can afford right now. Then we head to the near-by bathing house so that the two of us can get clean before heading to were Blue Water is located. It is important for me to figure out if I can really work there like they promised in the letter I got. Besides, I‘m curious as to why I got this invitation in the first place. Lavi helped me do my researches on this company and therefore I still can‘t figure out why a renown label for marketing does want to hire me. As closer I come now towards the street the main building is located, the more nervous and curious I start to become. This is it, my way forward into the future and I am the one to forge it with my own two hands. Taking a deep breath I take together all my courage and enter now the building


	3. Lavi: 1

_„I only have few rules, but they are simple to follow“ is the old man telling me while I‘m heading with him now to the airport and with a deep sigh I stare out of the window, observing how the droplets of rain hit the glass. Just after I woke up, the head mistress had called me up into the office. I wasn‘t aware at all there might be someone even interested to adopt me. My hand clenches around the glass with the Lotus I wear while I close my eye and I recall in front of my inner eye the faces of Yuu and Alma. Damned. I wasn‘t even able to tell them I‘m leaving. Suddenly, I feel so cold. As if I was cast aside into a freezing void opening up within my own soul. Yuu and Alma are the only ones who really gave me the feeling of being accepted. I won‘t be able to forget them at all. Because, everything I am able to see or read, it stays inside my memory for a very long time._  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
The first weeks living together with the old Panda are quite harsh. I get sent to school, but when only a month or so is passing on I am moving again. It goes on this way for quite a while until I reach the age of fourteen. Jiji suddenly has a severe stroke and I have to race him to the next hospital. There he has to remain for the next days. I just walk through the hallway after visiting him, brushing through my hair and slightly cursing since I don‘t know what to do if the old man would be in need of care while being bound to the bed permantly. It is right there, that I bump into my childhood friend Alma Karma. I have to admit, Alma is for sure turning into a beauty. But still there is a certain person I miss having around me for sure. Yuu Kanda.  
  
The time Jiji has to stay in the hospital I go to school, do my assigned work and keep the tiny apartment we share clean. I also manage to stay in contact with Alma by writing almost every week a very long letter. The funny thing is, Alma was my first friend when I arrived in the orphanage. Therefore this bond between us is for sure special. Then when I came up with the idea to sneak away in order to go on some little adventures on our own, we had bumped into Yuu. At first it was for sure difficult coming along with him. But after I saved him from drowning and promised him to teach how to swim properly I started to feel a certain chance in the way he started to treat especially me.  
  
After the old Panda is fit enough to leave the hospital I‘m able to convince him we move to the town, where Alma currently lives. There is also a good medical assistance program for those who are stuck at home after having suffered a stroke or seizure. In this way I‘m able to focus clearly on my High School Diploma while I also do the work Jiji assignes me to do. Actually, I don‘t mind for my life taking a turn like this. At least I have now a home and someone I can refer to as being family to me. Even though I spend my leisure time a lot with Alma joking around or talking about serious topics I still feel there is someone missing. All the girls in school having a crush on me and asking me out for a date, I simply turn down their offers and advances. I feel nothing at all when it comes to being the most wanted boy to be liked by all the female pupils at school. There are also rumors quickly starting to course around I might be already dating Alma. There are also some rumors of me being gay. But I let them rant all they want. They do know nothing about me at all. Nothing.  
  
It‘s true, Alma is for sure important to me. But as to what exactly I‘d feel for my best friend I can‘t say at all. Because in a way I started to adept to the life Jiji chose to live shortly after I got adopted by him. He was right, when he said the rules were simple to follow. I‘ve begun to hide the true me behind a simple mask so no one would ever question as to why I am so empty in the first place. Never show emotions to your surroundings. This is what I learned quite fast from the old Panda and it keeps me from straining my heart with pain and sorrow. Therefore even though I found my friend from my childhood days again, I act like everything is normal. I just act the way Jiji trains me to be around the people surrounding me. I am a Bookman now. Bookman Junior to be more precise. Therefore Bookmen don‘t need a heart at all.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
It isn‘t easy at all to convince the old Panda to let me go to Tokyo with Alma. But since I promise him to study over there and do my logs as usual, he gives in after a while and allows me to leave. Therefore I can‘t await at all to return to this city. It is ten years ago since I had been in Tokyo. I lived there with Alma inside an orphanage. Now each of us have family. A place to call home. At the same time I still feel lost somewhere within the tide. Not knowing where you belong to can for sure gnaw on your mind. As we wait for the boarding to start, Alma gazes right at me and I slightly bite my lips as this question appears right now.  
  
,Would Yuu even bother thinking about Alma or me at all?‘ is the thought now going through my mind, close my hand around the glass with the Lotus and my eye is closing while a deep sigh escapes my lips. No. More likely it might be, he moved on with his life and eradicated us out of his memories. Just thinking this way makes my heart churn as I haven‘t felt like this before at all. Why is it after ten years something inside of me tries to reach out for the dark-haired boy? If I stick to what Jiji taught me, I won‘t have any problems interacting with Yuu at all. If I just stay as the old Panda wants me to be, I‘m going to survive any random encounter facing me while being in Tokyo.  
  
 _„Lavi, wait“ is he saying right now as I turn around to gaze at him while Alma is already ahead. It is close to dinner time. I need to hurry up or otherwise I might end up having some serious troubles with the head mistress. „What is it, Yuu?“ is the question coming from me while I see him approach me directly. „You dropped this the last time“ is the stoic dark-haired boy simply saying as he presses something into my hand made of cotton. Then he storms off and I remain here with a puzzled expression on my face before I realize Yuu had given me some kind of present._  
  
My fingers brush over the fabric of the black bandana with the green imprint of dragon scales on it while I stare intensely on it. The constant use shows how much the colors start to fade. Still, I can‘t bring myself to buy me a new one. A short smile appears on my lips. Even though I started to become a realist just like Jiji, there is still a part inside of me clinging on to a tiny spark I might get the chance to see Yuu once again.  
  
Once we arrive in Tokyo I must have for sure not noticed back than how expensive life within this town for sure can be. The money Alma and I have is almost gone after staying for two days and all there is left are 100 yen in the following morning after I organized something cheap for us for breakfast. Now this will be tough for both, Alma and myself. All we can do is to walk through the city and hoping for a place to stay for the night. After Almas job interview shortly after our arrival in this buzzling city I feel like they make us wait for an proper answer on purpose. But right now there is a more urgent business to be taken care of. Getting enrolled at the famous Toudai and find a place to stay.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
For now I managed to get us a small apartment right close to the university. But the thing is, the rent is 4000 yen just for Alma and me to stay there for an entire month. So since I‘m now an enrolled student I‘m also allowed to work at the local bookstore while Alma helps out over at the cafeteria in order to earn some money. So currently I‘m busy with working and studying while Alma is still waiting for a response from Blue Water while doing the same. Even though I‘ve promised Jiji to write him I just can‘t spend any money at all right now. The letters I have ready to be sent are piling up while the end of the month draws closer. Slowly I begin to think it was totally wrong for Alma and me to fly over into this buzzling city. All we live of is blend rice and tea. Sometimes Alma manages to take along some left-overs from the cafeteria so that we have a little more than just a simple bowl of rice.  
  
Then just as the end of the month appears and right after I receive my first pay-check, the long expected response for Alma arrives. They want him to show up at a photo studio close to Shinjuku. So I decide to come along and watch. Besides, I see it as my responsibility to look after Alma since we travelled here together. Fixing my hair I glance shortly at the reflection inside the bathroom mirror, then I walk right next to Alma who‘s wearing a simple long-sleeve shirt and jeans while I have decided for the same kind of outfit. But I wear a vest over my shirt while the black bandana is right now around my neck. Even though I still don‘t know why they ask for Alma, but once we arrive at the Studio I may figure out the reason why


	4. Kanda: 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, that this chapter is so short  
> I give my best on the next one ;)

Sighing deeply I sit on the floor made out of tatami mats and meditate. If that irritating woman wasn‘t responsible for my shootings in the first place, I would have cut her to pieces a long time ago. Meditating helps me to stay calm and to stay sane at the same moment. One thing I figured out being good for my psyche after I was placed into foster care over in Europe. Slowly getting up, I simply take my jacket, put on my boots and storm off. There is no point at all to wait any longer at this place.  
  
„K-Kanda-san, where are you heading?“  
„Home“  
  
is my short response in a clipped tone while I ignore looking at her and another sigh escapes my lips. Since I started to work for Blue Water, I found myself closing off from the outside world even more. Even though I manage to earn a decent amount of money, most of the clients who are booking me try to close one eye about the way I behave so their product is going to be promoted much easier. Actually, no one is really happy to work with me in the first place. But it seems like they start to compromize the fact, it is only for a few hours or a day to be around me.  
  
Honestly, I give a damned shit about their worries. As long as I‘m left alone, everything is fine to me. ,As long as I don‘t have to take care of someone else‘ is constantly going through my mind as I press hard my lips together and slightly brush over the piece of glass where the lotus rests inside. Lately, it helps me to settle down a bit once I feel the cool glass within my hand. Once in a while as I close my eyes all I see is a radiating smile, bright red hair and a single emerald green eye full of mischief and laughter. Sometimes I do wonder why it seem like I‘ve forgotten about the third part of this vow we had made as children. All I know it was a girl of asian heritage hanging around with us. But the memories to her are quite blurry. All I remember about her is this heart-warming smile she constantly showed to us.  
  
Besides the rain, I dislike truly these days where I seem to become all of a sudden melancholic. Because that isn‘t me at all. Still, deep inside I can‘t deny the fact I feel left alone and betrayed at the same time by those I call to be my friends.  
  
 _„So, what you do want to be, when you are older?“_  
 _„How should I know? I‘m just a kid“_  
 _„That‘s no right answer, Lavi“_  
  
 _is she saying with a pout and I have to shake my head with a gentle smile appearing now on my lips as the three of us lay next to each other in the grass and stare at the clouds above us. „I‘d say something, where brains is needed“ is now my simple response as I slightly poke him into the side and the smile becomes more as I suddenly hear him sigh._  
  
 _„Actually, I want to stay a nobody“_  
 _„A nobody, why that?“_  
 _„Because, he‘s too afraid to bond, that‘s why“_  
  
 _is my response now in a slight mocking way as I sit up right now and only now do I realize it has gotten late. Just as he pouts and pokes back at me I am able to laugh out freely. Just being with them makes life itself easier for me. At home everything is under strict command, but here I can at least let go and act like a child all I like. „You know that was mean, Yuu“ is she saying right now as I help her up on the feet and I only grin at her. Before I can head out she pulls the two of us into a crushing hug and I have to admit I really like both of them very much_  
  
Gritting my teeth right now I only realize by now that I must have walked into the next park instead to the train station as I intended to do. If I could just shut off these random appearing fragments of my past, then my current life would be for sure a bit more enjoyable.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
Tense as I am right now I stand in the office and I am this close in losing my temper. Seriously? No way at all that I‘m going to show a bunch of rookies how to do their job properly. „Che, ask someone else to take on this job“ is my response right now with a slight aggravated voice as I cross my arms right now and glare at the supervisor of the Label.  
  
„But Kanda, you‘re currently the only one available right now“  
„Che“  
  
is only coming over my lips, cursing my current position. I bet, the other shining face for Blue Water knew what is coming up and fled to attend some shooting outside of Japan. I can‘t stand that guy at all. Even though this certain someone is currently on the Number One spot within the Label, there are still moments between us where I am really this close into trying to kill this man with my own two hands. I don‘t even have the words at all to describe why this urge comes up everytime I have to be in the same room as this man.  
  
„Fine, but next time you charge Mikk for the baby-sitting job“ is my response right now with an annoyed growl escaping my throat, turn around and leave now the office to the named address. I prefer challenging jobs. Such, where I can earn more money that during a common shooting I am booked for. As I use the train instead of being driven to the location of the photo studio I simply glare out of the window and sigh shortly. Just what is the supervisor thinking again? When I started in this business, there was no one around to show me what to look out for. I had to fight and learn on my own. That‘s why I still think it is a stupid idea to show a bunch of rookies what to look out for. They are supposed to learn the hard way just as I had to years ago.


	5. Alma: 2

At the end of the month I finally receive a letter, where I am asked by the label Blue Water to show up in Roppongi at a shooting. If this truly works out, then I might earn enough money in order to organize me a skilled doctor to do the necessary surgeries for me in order to be the young man I see myself being one. Besides, it is really annoying to be called female while I don‘t feel like being one in the first place. I know, my parents did their best for me, so they aren‘t to blame I am still adressed as a young woman by the teachers. Actually, Lavi and my parents are the only ones to address me either neutral or as a man.  
  
Brushing through my short hair I gaze at the slender figure within the reflecting mirror and a deep sigh escapes my lips. Since I began wearing a binder in middle school, I also started to do a lot of work-outs in order to prevent this body from changing too much. But still I was betrayed by my own body as these lumps of fat started to appear and grow. If I wouldn‘t wear constantly the binder, then any male being would be attracted to me by my canteloupe-melon size breasts for sure. In order to become who I am, they have to vanish at first.  
  
With a deep sigh I stare at the mirror and all I can see in there is a young man close on the brink of despair, because no surgeon in the fucking States is willed to simply fullfill my wish. Then, no wonder why many desperate young people in a similar crisis like me take the risk and head to backdoor surgeons somewhere in the boons of Mexico. A short smile appears now on my lips. I remember how I confessed with 12 to my parents I feel uncomfortable living as a girl and luckily for me neither of them was shocked. At first I wasn‘t sure if they would be disgusted by the thought of their child wanting to change into the other gender. But real fast I learned how supportive they truly are towards me.  
  
Another smile still rests on my lips as I remember how my mother had a fight about ethic thoughts on the society with a waiter, when we had spent the day together at the mall. After this moment I just started to wish for my parents to have a long an healthy life, so I can spend all my time together with them. Even though I do know nothing about my birth parents, I do have such loving and supporting parents that I never want to go back at all.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
 _„A-Am I going to keep my first name?“_  
 _„Of course, my dear“_  
  
 _is she saying to me with a gentle smile resting on her lips and a deep sigh escapes my lips while I sit on the bed of a hotel room, where I have to wait until my documents are ready to be picked up. Currently I am with this woman, who will be from today on my mother. But I really don‘t know how to interact with one at all. Besides, while I jump up and run over to the window, I start to wonder what Yuu is doing by now. I really wish, I could send him some kind of message, but I don‘t have an address nor a number nor his last name. A sigh escapes my lips as I watch the rain while my new mother is obviously packing for us to head to the airport as soon as my new father returns with my documents._  
  
For a moment I find myself being deeply absorbed into my mind. As I gather together all the dirty clothes in order to do the laundry, I find now a stack of magazines neither one of us can afford at the time being on the table. As I put the basket aside onto the chair, I grab the magazine on the top and right there I notice it is from last month. On the cover is a young man with long dark hair and I have to admit he‘s quite handsome. Since my curiosity is now for sure awoken, I grab the magazine and decide to take it along while heading downstairs to use the dorm-intern washing machine. In order to do so you have to sign up at the RA since certain time frames are easily booked out.  
  
If I leave this up to Lavi, then we‘d never be able to wash at all. He is a genius at a certain point, but when it comes to organize the household, Lavi can be quite chaotic. Sometimes I do wonder how the old man comes along with him at all. Sitting next to the washing machine, I go now through the magazine and I have to admit I am quite surprised about the content. There are many photos. At a photo spread across two pages I stare for a long time at this man and I simply can‘t shake the feeling I do know him very well. For a short moment I have to gasp as I take a closer look on this photograph. A glass vial with a lotus inside is around the neck of this young man. Can this be? Can this man really be Yuu? Please, whatever deity is listening to me right now, let me meet my friend at least again.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
The day of the shooting has arrived. I am much earlier awake as usual and currently I am quite nervous and tense at the same time. Even though I took already a shower, I jump under it almost ten minutes later just to assure myself I am clean enough to show up. „Now, calm down, Alma. As if I let you go there on ya own“ is Lavi now saying to me as he wraps his arms around me and it really helps me to calm down as be brushes in a soothing away over my arms. This is his way to help me. A smile appears now on my lips as I shortly close my eyes and lean against his chest.  
  
„Thanks, Lavi“  
„No need to thank at all, I just do this because we are friends“  
  
is this charming red-head now saying to me, as I shortly shake my head and before I know Lavi manages to bring me to meditate, so I won‘t be all too nervous once arrive at the place, where the shooting will take place.  
  
After a quick breakfast I decide to wear simple jeans, a long-sleeve shirt and a lumberjack vest. Together we head now to the train station. Luckily for me Lavi was figuring out the past day as to where the location is and therefore I arrive with almost fifteen minutes to spare. Taking in a deep breath I go inside, pressing my bag against my chest while looking around.  
  
„Good Morning, may I help you?“  
„Y-Yes, I have an appointment for a shooting today“  
„Name please?“  
„Alma Karma“  
  
is my response right now at the grey-haired figure almost reminding me on Lavis grandfather and I lick again my lips while my heart feels like increasing the beat with every passing minute.   
  
„Ah, yes, here we have the name. Please take the elevator to the sixth floor, go along the hallway, then turn left“  
„Thank you very much“  
„I shall announce your arrival“  
  
is the grey-haired figure now saying as Lavi approaches me now and I head now with him to the elevator. Little do I know, that I am on my way to meet Yuu again after almost ten years that have passed by. Even the fact, that the agency who hired me has other plans in store than I could ever imagine.


	6. Lavi: 2

Right now all I can do is to support Alma in every way possible. That‘s why I decided to look up the fastest way to reach the location as to where my friend has to show up for a shooting on the following day. It goes without saying that I tag along. Because I feel myself responsible for Alma in a certain way. Besides, I also promised his parents to take good care of him as long as we stay here in Tokyo. Closing my eye while I stand under the shower some memories and pictures fleet infront of my inner eye I can‘t shake off at all. There is one point in my life I still keep secret even from Alma. It is a part within my life I am not proud of it at all. A deep sigh escapes my lips as my hand rests now on the eye-patch I constantly wear. If both, Yuu and Alma find out about this part of me, I am going to lose them for sure. So in order to keep at least Alma close by I decide to cloak myself into silence.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
 _„What happened to your eye“ is a gentle voice now asking me as I slowly look up and right there is a girl around my age sitting next to me on the bed. Her hands hesitate to touch me at first, but what surprises me next is what she does. This girl leans forwards, chastes a kiss on the one eye I can‘t see through any longer and a smile rests on her lips._  
  
 _„I‘m Alma, what is your name?“_  
 _„L-Lavi“_  
  
 _is all I‘m stuttering right now while trying to avoid looking right into her cobalt-blue eyes fixated at me. Something about Alma is for sure special. Besides, Alma is the first of all these children here to actually approach me._  
  
Sometimes, I find myself thinking as to why Alma walked up to me on the day I received my medicinal eye-patch. But I can‘t deny I was really happy about this first approach coming from him. Without Alma around, I don‘t know at all if I had stayed any longer within the orphanage. I might even ran away, fighting in a city for survival I barely knew at that time. So, therefore I am truly thankful for having Alma as my best friend. Right now I‘m restless and can‘t fall asleep at all. The reasons therefore lie within my recent past. While I gaze at the sleeping form next to me I start to bite firmly my bottom lip.  
  
In two days is the anniversary of what changed my view on life completely. Still, I can‘t talk with Alma about this at all. I know, we promised to never have any kind of secrets infront the other, but I simply can‘t tell him at all. Alma would be devastated to learn about the truth I decided to hide from him. I have another reason why I started to keep most of these things for myself. When Alma had hit his 17th birthday he suddenly started to talk a lot about Yuu and if there might be any chance at all he hasn‘t forgotten about us at all. If I wouldn‘t know it better, then my simple guess is Alma has started to be interested to be in a serious relationship with the one friend we share, Yuu. But right now this thought is nothing more than an assumption. I actually avoid talking about serious things like relationships, even if Alma is my conversation partner.  
  
Without trying to wake up Alma, I sneak out of the bed, pull on my jeans and decide to go for a walk. The cool night breeze feels quite refreshing on my skin. Somehow I end up at a small bridge crossing a creek. While I lean against the railing, I gaze at the surface of the water reflecting the waning moon within the sky. Just as I close my hand around the glass vial with the Lotus inside, I feel like carrying a heavy burden deep inside of me. Because I feel like I‘ve betrayed those close to me. The two important people in my life I vowed to stay friends with. But as long Alma and Yuu find someone to make them happy, everything is allright for me. I can‘t turn back at all. Now I have to live with the fact of losing new found friends in the most cruel way possible.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
At the next morning it is my task to calm down Alma, otherwise he‘d be a nervous wreck in the first place. Actually when I tell him to meditate it helps him obviously a lot, because once we leave our shared apartment Alma is a lot calmer than before. My head swirls with a load of thought about the things I‘ve done and the things I haven‘t done. Right now it be better not to bump into Yuu at all. This is what I tell myself over and over again these past years. Maybe it was never ment for me in the first place to fall for Yuu. Even though I have to admit, I denied these deep emotions dwelling inside me for very long. Somehow it seems like I am not fit for a serious relationship at all.  
  
As I shortly close my eye I suddenly feel Almas hand on mine and a smile appears now on my lips. Over the years it seems like he developed kind of a sixth sense on how I am too deeply absorbed in my mind. I only need to gaze directly into Almas eyes and there is reassurance I can see and feel at the same time. „We‘re in this together“ is Alma saying to me as he grabs my hand, gently squeezing it and I only nod in response. Yeah, as long as I have Alma around me I‘m fine.  
  
The two of us are friends since we were in the same orphanage. I was seven and Alma eight when we started to forge this strong bond of friendship lasting on for so long now. Two years later Yuu became our friend and we decided together to make this vow to stay friends forever. One day for sure I am going to tell Alma what I am not intentionaly hiding. Right now is not the right time to do so. But I will for sure tell him. This is something I need to do in order to close the one chapter in my life filled with regret.  
  
So once we arrive at the building Alma has to show up I stay close but keep my distance. I don‘t like how this geezer looks at all at my friend, that‘s why I approach Alma so I can be of help to him. I‘ve memorized where we have to go even though I wasn‘t standing close to the counter. As we step into the elevator a man asks us to wait. So once we are all inside the elevator I push the button for the sixth floor and pull Alma close to me only to assure my friend is save.  
  
„So you‘re heading to the shooting, I assume?“  
„O-Only me, my friend here is only accompanying me“  
  
is Alma now answering as the man is now asking the two of us and somehow I feel uneasy around him. There is something outgoing from him I can‘t tell, but my inner voice screams literary at me to keep major distance to this man.  
  
As we reach the sixth floor I grab Almas hand and follow the hallway to the mentioned room where he has to show up. Luckily for us, this strange man was taking a other direction then the two of us. Concerened eyes are now directed at me and I know, I sometimes tend to overreact in certain situations when it comes to Alma. I just want to keep him save. Even though I know Alma can take care of himself very well. But still, there is this part inside telling me to protect him no matter what. „Can we go inside now?“ is Alma asking me. I only nod, then we enter the room without knowing at all how fate is putting our paths back together with Yuu


End file.
